I realised I’d have to become obsessed

Only I can

 

When growing up I wanted to be a singer, a dancer or an actress, yes clients now it makes sense why Im so extra sometimes J I was happy with whatever came first but i remember in a magazine it said Victoria Beckham done a 1000 sit ups everyday! I sat there in shock because i had been attempting to do at least 100 2 times a week thinking this would give me a bloody six pack.

Then it hit me all these celebrities really make some sacrifices; although I wanted to be famous I began to ask myself would I really be ready to make those kind of sacrifices? Going to the gym daily, getting up at 4am to train, travelling all the time, rarely enjoying my own bed, working long hours, being away from all my home comforts, leaving my family behind to make strangers happy with my signature? Boi lets just say when I was younger and still till today my mum call me ‘Sleepy head’ cause I would happily stay in bed alllll day lol I swear I just loved sleeping; looking back I wonder if all that sleeping was the first sign on me trying to check out from the world.

 I thought to myself for these celebs to give up so much to have their dream that there must have be more pushing them than your average Jo, as I continued to ponder it came to me ‘I need to become obsessed, I need to make this my life’ even though I was young let’s say maybe 13 I knew I shouldn’t be unhealthily obsessed but this goal needs to become my mission that I will complete no matter what comes my way. Now it did take me another 3 years to get my act together but mentally from that moment I became obsessed, I would imagine being slim, Pray to God to make my thighs toned and slender and help me get rid of my 4 rolled belly, i’d look at the clothes that would one day fit me, imagine how tight dresses would cling to me minus the lumps and bumps and began to feel a sense of ownership and accountability for achieving my goals.

I was basically using the Laws of Attraction and didn’t realise it. I sit here now as proof that what you think about comes to pass.

Now I can wear those belly tops i’d always wanted to own, I can shop in any store and know I will find my size, my thighs don’t rub together any more lol that’s a bit of a lie because there is no way I can go out in a skirt in summer without some baby powder between these thighs or a cut up pair a leggings ( they work great as shorts) I always envisioned myself as that mum on school run that looked fit and healthy and here I am.

 I can truthfully say I love my body and all its flaws and just as truthfully say sometimes I still feel like a bloated heifer, I still have insecure moments and scold myself in the mirror but the difference is now ill scold myself for a few seconds instead of for days on end, now on a low day I can acknowledge that I’m simply bloated and I need to be great full that my body is fully functioning, when an outfit doesn’t fit right or I feel like nothing looks good on me I take a deep breath, remember this is not the end of the world; find something comfortable to wear and make sure my lips are extra glossy.

  You don’t need to be perfect but you do need to accept that sacrifices have to be made, have patience and most importantly accept yourself for who you are. Do you really want to have a body like that celebrity which for you would mean going to the gym 6 days a week, missing out on social events cause your too tired or so restricted in your diet there’s no point,surgery, become a nightmare to live with because your craving real food and turning into an irritable shake drinking monster, do you want to limit yourself everyday of your life just to look like someone you don’t even know?

  Tell yourself that you deserve to be a better version of you and believe with all your heart and soul that what seems impossible is surely possible, if so many other people can do it then why can’t you? And before negative nanny start talking shut her up take control back!

 

I deserve to be the best version of me

I believe with all my heart and soul that the impossible is possible

If they can do it so can I

 

 

Shut up negative nanny I AM IN CONTROL HERE